A long time ago there was, you may recall, a craze for little books of inspiration sayings and a host of parodies too. One such was Rohan Candappa's Little Book of Wrong Shui which promises to tell you "How to drastically improve your life by basically moving stuff around. Honest."
Here are some pearls from that book:
Beams are Bad:
Beams are exceedingly bad Wrong Shui. Steer clear of anyone who beams at you. They are invariably untrustworthy. Or come from California.
Nipping the Problem in the Bud:
If you are having trouble with your neighbours, try to heal the rift by planting a soothing hedge of Leylandii between your properties.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Use an egg box like everyone else and stop being such a poser.
Always try to keep your lungs positioned above your kidneys.
On Rocks and Hard Places:
Never position a rock near a hard place.