Storytelling... by Text Message!

Today's post is something a bit different: a story composed by text message conversation between me and my friend, Kay. What started as spontaneous banter soon took on a life of its own. I've chosen to present it as composed - in bitesize chunks with my parts justified to the right and my co-writer's justified to the left... enjoy!

Their eyes met across a crowded room She had the look of a well satisfied woman, he was gay. It was never going to work...

She say him looking and wondered: was her hair a mess?

He looked at her and thought "Ooh, lovely hair but her bum looks big in that."

She feels his stare and blushes, wondering if it is the tweed skirt having this effect...

He looked at her, bemused; was she embarrassed? Or having a hot flush? She didn't look old enough but she was wearing tweed.

She began to wonder if he realised that the librarian look was just a cover.

Something wasn't right. He began to wonder if the librarian look was just a cover. If only he could put his finger on it!

She starts to wonder if her Superhero pants are showing. Maybe her skirt was tucked into her knickers.

For a moment he thought that he might have seen her at SHeroCon, the Superhero get-together. No, that wasn't it. She did have a certain poise and aura, though. Yes, he thought, that's who it is...

Yes, it's Cider Girl!

...his Nemesis. For as long has he had been AlcopopMan, Cider Girl had been his biggest enemy. Even now as a civilian, he felt himself fill with a mixture of fear and anger in her presence.

Cider Girl's senses, whilst slightly deadened, were not completely shot. She recognised a smell, something told her to move fast.

He watched as she tensed and sprang backwards towards the door. His own long redundant sixth sense kicked in and he too could smell what she smelt, feel what she felt. Almost instinctively he performed a back-flip just as a hole appeared in the floor and from it rose the figure off...

Could it really be? Lord Harket of Norway? Cider Girl had only dreamt about seeing him in the flesh.

The stench of Rollmops filled the air... Cider Girl and the former AlcopopMan took a deep breath and said, almost in unison: 

"What does 'Take On Me' actually mean?"

The End

Not an A-Z of my CDs: Q

There was never - despite seeking alternate candidates from my followers on Twitter - much dispute about who would be featured artists for this entry. Even those, like me, who aren't particular fans have a favourite Queen song or two. So here are 5ive + Queen with We Will Rock You:

...Only joking!

Here is my chosen track... Enjoy!

Andrew

The Scotsman Steps

Once upon a time, there was a handy short cut which could take the time-pressed traveller from the South end of North Bridge in Edinburgh down to Market Street below and the side entrance to Waverley Train Station. This short cut - the Scotsman Steps - ran down the side of the offices of The Scotsman newspaper and could save you at least 5 minutes on your journey.

For as long as I can remember, though, the steps have been far from pleasant with graffiti common and the scent of stale urine. This state of affairs continued even after the re-development of the The Scotsman offices as a four star hotel; something I always found surprising.

Now, however, the steps have been renovated, as part of an art project sponsored by the Fruitmarket Gallery. Turner Prize winner Martin Creed has re-clad the steps in marble and the Victorian gates have been re-instated to ensure that the stairway doesn't suffer from it's previous fate.

There's more on the history of the steps and the genesis of the renovation plans here and the result here.

Andrew

On the Ning Nang Nong

This latest entry in my anthology is one of the favourite poems of my childhood. From the mind of the late, great Spike Milligan, it is quite simply nonsense. I defy you to read this and keep a straight face...

On the Ning Nang Nong by Spike Milligan

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!! 

Andrew

Sunday Sounds 8

This week's Sunday Sound popped into my head during the week and resurfaced this morning. It's an  eighties classic from Aztec Camera - Somewhere in My Heart:

Andrew